I have very powerful feelings inside of me nearly locked away but every day I stay the key and keep the lock open.
Often I am rendered silent by the complexity of those feelings realizing my vocabulary lacks the required breadth to communicate them.
From the political loyalty of the paradigm to the cultural biases of honesty and crime my words fall upon apathetic minds focused on winning wars for their own kind.
I speak of humanistic prosperity, togetherness, anarchy, and peace only to be vilified, divided, controlled, and fleeced.
I care not who you voted for last cycle nor what rally you attended last week. I care not for the cause you hold upon high or which enemy you choose to vilify.
I see massive fingers directed by massive ego’s pointing and poking and prodding each other’s claims of supremacy. I see the broken lumps of flesh and bone caught in between.
I see the satisfaction of victory over the “the ways of old” while the “ways of old” shine through the new order of things.
You tell me I’m hurting “the movement” as if I belong for speaking words gone silent far too long. To that I say, the truth and the world is much stranger than the fiction of any so called “movement”.
Your group of pals and collection of ideas only a grain of dust among an eternal inferno of information. Stick together, just don’t lose yourself in your group mental masturbation.
If only you knew how afraid they were of you. If you could only admit that your fervor aligns with their fear. If only you could see the ties than bind you perhaps then the world could be free.
You see not the dire straights of those opposite your dilemma only the fear filled melodrama of their words that fill the air around you. Not a mirror in sight that you can see, not a mirror nor a reflection that it’s also you who speak.
So what is it my friend? Do they hate the way you look, behave, believe, or choose to live? You cannot change that which by it’s very nature must push against you and challenges you to be every beautiful and precious thing you have to be.
Put down the pitchforks, tear down the walls, and let go of the chains. The anchors weigh heavy on us all without judgement but with reason. The strength you feel is your true self so crucify the ego, it’s not too late. For when it is, you’d never had made it to these words, you never would have had a chance to see all the glorious and wondrous things about life that I see.
(Please understand I mean this with much intensity towards everyone. I hold no quarter and hold myself to these same standards. I’m not trying to be a hipster, enlightened, nor do I view myself as special. I am merely letting these bottled up emotions go here on facebook because sometimes it makes me feel better. That is all.)
People cling to false identity all the time don’t they? They are Americans, they are black people, they are Mexicans they are hippies, they are conservatives, atheist, Christians, white people, and any other label one can put on themselves in order to avoid being who they really are. Perhaps one might identify with some of the attributes of a particular label, but to me, no one label can define me for the simple fact that no one label is perfectly in tune with reality and good nature in human behavior. For years now, I have identified myself as a “libertarian” because I agree so whole heartily with the idea that human beings are best left to their own devices and should never use force or coercion when dealing with others around them. I thought to myself, finally, a group of people who understand me and with whom I can identify with. I felt that strong sense of belonging and it was very dear to me. That sense is still dear to me, however it comes now to me with a greater sense of awareness. I do not agree with every last drop of what my libertarian friends have to say. Once again, I am met with this idea of collectivism and realize that it cannot define me as a complete person. Instead, I’ve learned to control my emotions and identify those emotions for what they really are, my true self trying to break through to the surface. The image below illustrates various degrees of similar emotions. When you look at it, try to think about the last discussion you had where you became agitated, where do you think your emotions land on the chart? In my opinion the closer to the middle you get, the closer to your ego’s desires you get. I believe the more intense emotions we feel in life spawn from an unhealthy amount of ego. It’s after you take a step back and identify how you would rather feel about things that you can begin to shed your ego. Instead of feeling rage, why not take a step back and think about how that will affect not just yourself, but the people around you. The idea I’m attempting to get across is that as an individual, one can learn to control their emotions and identify when their ego is attempting to over take our true selves. 
I’m starting to realize that no matter how much I try to persuade, the almighty middle finger will endlessly trump any kind of polite and respectable discourse I had planned. I am so very close to forgetting about politics in general. All I see anymore is “I believe this!” “But I believe that!” and two middle fingers and two angry sour faces and further division of humanity into two completely compartmentalized groups of thought. We are being reduced to the lowest common denominator. The ego is being fed all the best parts of who and what we are as individuals and I am deeply saddened by this as I have to admit I am along for the ride as well. After 1000 death threats, personal attacks, and flat-out ignorant ravings towards me I’ve come to the conclusion that neither the left or the right has any validity what so ever if the best they can come up with in the end is forcing the other side to live how they see fit with violence and coercion. You deserve each other. I was called a coward earlier today for saying this and it really had me thinking about if I really am just afraid and yes, part of me really is afraid, afraid of losing myself in the chaos that is politics. Afraid of losing my identity as an individual because of labels. Afraid of losing my sanity because no one will listen to me….sure I am afraid, but how afraid will you be once you can’t remember who you were before? How afraid will you be once you realize your ego has finished taking you over? How brave will you be when trying to scratch and claw your way back into who you used to be? I have painted my own Mona Lisa folks, she is beautiful and puts a smile on my face and humbles me and would have me be myself and share the best parts of myself with others…not rant and rave like a lunatic and flip everyone off who disagrees with me. Instead, I’m going to focus on my self, how to control my emotions, improving myself, and leaving my ego behind when I can afford to do so. Thank you for reading! Scott D. Vogler
Ampersand Quest 